If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it too late for me to...?” the answer’s NO, and The Uplifters will prove it to you. This space is for purpose-driven women who want to do big, brave things in the second half of their lives. I’m your host, Aransas Savas, and I’ve spent the last 20 years at the intersection of behavior change research and coaching.
September’s episodes are all about new beginnings. We kicked things off talking about ending the last thing well, because that’s the first step to starting the next thing.
Listen to today’s episode with Tori DaCosta if...
You are trying to build a second act while keeping your full-time job intact
You find yourself trying to control people you can only actually influence
You are scared that telling the truth about your life will cost you everything you’ve worked so hard to build
Tori DaCosta was an executive at a Fortune 50 company, two months from finishing her executive MBA, when an idea crossed her mind that she couldn’t shake. She wanted to write a book. But she was also pretty sure she didn’t have a story or anything to say.
So, she wrote down the key moments that shaped her life, looked for the lessons in them, and discovered she was using the same principles in both her life and her work.
Her book, No Name Bastard: How Our Lives Teach Us What We Can Control, Manage, and Influence, teaches readers how to transform past and present challenges using a practical framework.
Control: Focuses on your own attitude, effort, discipline, and direct responses rather than outside noise.
Manage: Helps you handle ongoing responsibilities and everyday obstacles constructively.
Influence: Guides you on where your impact matters without carrying blame that does not belong to you.
Tori wrote her book and is building a speaking career while continuing her executive career, so we also get into the challenges and opportunities of managing two high-demand careers simultaneously in midlife, and the complexity of sharing family secrets and stories that were long hidden.
Tori’s mission is to help other people stop carrying shame for things that were never theirs to be ashamed of in the first place, and to give them a simple, usable framework for the rest.
Tori’s Courage Practice
Tori shuts her screens down at 8 pm. Sleep is the most practical thing she does to manage her emotions and thoughts well. When you are rested, showing up as your best self in a hard conversation, a big meeting, or a stage in front of strangers gets a lot easier.
She also runs a quarterly reset: every 13 weeks, she sits down and plots out her personal and professional goals together instead of siloing herself.
5 Ways Tori DaCosta Shows Us How to Build Our Courage Capital:
She let the story surface instead of forcing it. Tori didn’t sit down and decide to write a tell-all. She got quiet, stayed reflective, and let the first true story rise on its own. Sometimes the bravest thing is patience, not a plan.
She was strategic about who she told, and when. Tori protected the book while it was still a seedling, choosing carefully who heard about it before it was finished. Not everyone earns early access to your dream.
She reclaimed a word that used to carry shame. By putting “bastard” on the cover, Tori drained the word of its power over her. She did the research, found she was one of millions, and decided the shame was never actually hers to carry.
She built a team instead of trying to do it all herself. She hired a director of operations, a publicist, and soon a virtual assistant.
She protects her sleep like it’s a strategic pillar.
Lift Her Up
Read No Name Bastard at journeystone.com or toridacosta.com, and follow along on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn (@ToriDacostaLeadership) for more.
