75 Soft (For Your Future Self)

And maybe your today self too

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it too late for me to...” the answer’s NO and The Uplifters is about to show you why. This space is for purpose-driven women who want to do big, brave things in the second half of their lives.

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My sweet grandma did headstands until she was 94. She hula hooped in her kitchen most mornings. She’d roll around on the floor, stretch, and pop back up like it was nothing. None of this was for Instagram or a fitness challenge or because someone told her she should. She did it because it felt good, because it kept her free in her body, because she wanted to be strong and agile and playful for as long as possible.

In about 75 days, we’ll mark the one-year anniversary of her passing. So I’m doing my own version of “75 Soft” starting today.

Maybe you’ve heard of 75 Hard - that super aggressive program that’s been popular with dudes over the past few years. Two 45-minute workouts, strict diet adherence, a gallon of water daily, progress photos, 10 pages of self-help reading. Every single day for 75 days, no exceptions, or you start over.

There’s so much I could say about why this approach makes me twitch as a behavioral researcher. But mostly? It just feels brutal and stringent and totally out of sync with what most of us actually need, especially right now when news cycles feel violent and our softer bodies feel tender and it’s freaking winter.

Punishing approaches create short-term compliance but long-term depletion. Our nervous systems can't sustain constant pushing, especially when we're already holding so much. And for women over 40, whose bodies are navigating hormonal shifts that already mess with sleep and energy and emotional regulation, adding more "hard" to the mix isn't courageous. It's just cruel.

So here’s what I’m doing instead. For the next 75 days, I’m going to do five things every day that Grandma did to stay strong and free through her 80s and 90s. (The photos I shared of her in our last issue really informed this list.) Just for a few minutes each day, I’ll:

• Go outside

• Listen to music

• Hula hoop

• Roll around on the floor, stretch, and get back up (arguably the most valuable thing I could do for my body)

• Do a headstand (which takes shockingly little strength or balance)

Nothing hard. No requirements other than to just show up. If the whole thing only takes 5 minutes in a day, super. If I want to do more because I’m having fun, also super.

I’m still gonna journal and drink water and lift weights for my today self. But these five things? I’m consciously doing them for my future self. My body probably isn’t going to show any dramatic changes. But maybe I’ll giggle more. Maybe I’ll spend less time at my desk. Maybe I'll hold the weight of this particular moment in history a little differently in my body. Maybe when I read another heartbreaking bit of breaking news, I'll have five minutes of my day where I practiced softness instead of bracing against everything.

Wanna join me?

You don’t need to do what I’m doing. Just commit to yourself to do something gentle and loving and sweet for yourself every day for the next 75 days. Something that honors your future self, not something that punishes your current self.

Let me know in the comments what you’re choosing. It would be so much more fun to do it together.

(And yes, I’m totally telling you about this because it’ll keep me focused, so by all means, hands up if you like a little supportive accountability too.)

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