#128 Lakshmi Rengarajan: Why Your Later Life Might Be Perfect for Finding Love
Hi! New here? I'm Aransas Savas. I've spent the last 20 years at the intersection of behavior change research and coaching. On The Uplifters Podcast, we share diverse stories of trailblazing, change-making women who are doing big, brave things in the second half of their lives, and showing us how we can too!
Listen to this if...
You've been told (or tell yourself) that there's an expiration date on finding love
You're tired of dating advice that feels like it's written for someone half your age
You're curious about what dating could look like when it's not driven by urgency and timelines
You want to understand how to share your authentic self in ways that create real connection (in any relationship, not just romantic ones).
This Week’s Featured Uplifter: Lakshmi Rengarajan
Lakshmi Rengarajan is the host of The Later Date Today podcast and a dating coach who's spent 15 years studying the patterns of what works (and what spectacularly doesn't) when it comes to romance in midlife and beyond.
Lakshmi challenges conventional dating wisdom with the precision of someone who has studied thousands of first dates and the warmth of someone who genuinely believes love is possible at every stage of life.
Her work reminds me of something my grandmother used to say: "The best fruit grows slowly." While everyone else is telling people to hurry up and settle down, Lakshmi is suggesting something radical—what if we slowed down and got curious instead?
Her Courage Practice: The Art of Deep Connection
Lakshmi helps clients develop a repertoire of 15 magnetic stories that capture who they truly are. This isn't about rehearsing elevator pitches or perfecting dating small talk. It's about learning to share the contours of your authentic self in ways that invite real connection.
"Most people think they know how to talk about themselves," she explains, "but then they say things like 'I'm an engineer' and wonder why the conversation dies." Instead, she helps her clients find the stories behind their roles—like the engineer who shares about the fireplace that wouldn't work and how solving that puzzle revealed something essential about how his mind operates and where he finds a sense of meaning and purpose.
This practice extends far beyond dating. It's about understanding that connection happens through specificity and vulnerability, not through generic pleasantries. Whether you're meeting a potential romantic partner, a new neighbor, or interviewing for a job, these stories become your toolkit for genuine human connection.
5 Ways She Shows Us How to Build Our Courage Capital
Reframe "failure" as data collection. Lakshmi sees her extensive research into why traditional dating advice fails as the foundation for building something better. Every bad coffee date, every mismatched connection becomes information rather than evidence of personal inadequacy.
Challenge inherited timelines. She had to let go of the cultural story that there's only one window for finding love—typically your twenties and thirties—and embrace the radical idea that different life stages might actually be better suited for different kinds of relationships. Her mentor Dr. Helen Fisher's love story at 72 becomes proof that our stories about "too late" are just that—stories.
Study the systems you're operating within. Rather than just telling people to "put themselves out there," Lakshmi dedicated years to understanding the actual mechanics of modern dating culture, the psychology of apps, and the real dynamics at play. This knowledge became power, allowing her to help listeners and clients navigate with intention rather than just hope.
Lead with connection before communication. Most dating advice jumps straight to "be clear about what you want," but Lakshmi insists we learn to connect first. She teaches people to get genuinely curious about the person across from them rather than treating dates like job interviews for the role of "life partner."
Create your own romantic life regardless of relationship status. Her concept of "romantic hope" isn't about finding a partner—it's about living with your heart open, making handcrafted experiences, choosing analog over digital when possible, and designing a life that feels romantic whether you're coupled or not. (This might be her most radical insight of all.)
Lift Lakshmi Up
Subscribe to The Later Dater Today podcast wherever you get your shows
Follow her on social media for dating wisdom that actually makes sense
Add some romance to your life
Here are some of my favorite Later Dater Stories from Other Uplifters
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