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You might be a perfectionist if…
There are so many new Uplifters who have joined this list in the last week, so I’ll start with a hearty welcome! Hiiiiii! I’m so glad you’re here!
In these Wednesday messages, you can expect to hear more about recent podcast episodes, tips and tricks for living up, and quick bursts of inspiration to help you surf the week ahead. Reach out to me anytime with thoughts, questions, or ideas, by commenting on the posts or simply replying to the emails.
You might be a perfectionist if…
If you haven’t listened to Lisa Crozier on episode 13 of The Uplifters Podcast, stop whatever you’re doing and go listen! We talk a lot about the path of the recovering perfectionist. I am a card-holding member of this often externally-praised and internally-punished club. I’ve also had the privilege to coach many women as they’ve recovered from their perfectionist tendencies and learned to show themselves some grace. I suspect there are a few of you reading this email right now. In fact, I feel pretty confident of it, since in our survey last week you told us that fear of failure was one of your biggest motivational blocks.
So, what is perfectionism, really?
Perfectionism is characterized by setting high standards for ourselves, having a strong need for flawlessness, and being overly critical of our own performance. While striving for excellence can be helpful in many aspects, extreme perfectionism can lead to unhelpful consequences. Here are some common symptoms or signs associated with perfectionism:
Setting unrealistically high standards: Perfectionists often set exceptionally high expectations for themselves, sometimes beyond what is reasonable or achievable. They may strive for perfection in all areas of their life, including work, relationships, appearance, and personal achievements.
Fear of making mistakes: Perfectionists have an intense fear of making errors or mistakes. They may worry excessively about the consequences of making even minor slip-ups and tend to view mistakes as personal failures.
Excessive attention to detail: Perfectionists have a tendency to become overly focused on minor details, often neglecting the bigger picture. They may spend excessive amounts of time on tasks, getting caught up in small imperfections and struggling to complete projects on time.
Procrastination: Paradoxically, some perfectionists may delay or avoid starting tasks because they are afraid of not being able to meet their own high standards. They may feel overwhelmed by the fear of failure and, as a result, postpone taking action.
Self-criticism: Perfectionists tend to be highly self-critical and self-demanding. They often engage in negative self-talk and harshly judge themselves for not meeting their own expectations. They may feel unworthy or inadequate when they fall short of their goals.
Seeking external validation: Perfectionists often seek validation and approval from others to validate their self-worth. They may constantly seek reassurance and praise, and their self-esteem may depend heavily on others' opinions of their achievements.
Difficulty delegating tasks: Perfectionists often find it challenging to delegate tasks to others because they believe that no one else can meet their high standards. They prefer to have full control over the outcome and may feel anxious or dissatisfied when others are responsible for completing a task.
Workaholism: Perfectionists may have a strong drive to work excessively and tirelessly to achieve their goals. They may sacrifice personal relationships, leisure activities, and self-care to maintain their pursuit of perfection.
Emotional distress: The constant pressure to be perfect can lead to increased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. Perfectionists may experience feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, and a sense of never being "good enough."
Experiencing one or two of these symptoms doesn't necessarily mean you are a perfectionist. However, if these tendencies are consistently getting in your way, please reach out to me. I offer both group and individual coaching in this area and am happy to share some great free resources with you too. To reach me, just respond to this email or write to me at email@example.com
Next up on The Uplifters Podcast
This Friday, you’ll meet Lisa Halverstadt, a senior investigative reporter for Voice of San Diego, a nonprofit investigative and explanatory outlet in San Diego. Lisa writes extensively about her community's homelessness, substance abuse and behavioral health crises and the people impacted by them. In this episode of The Uplifters Podcast, we explore simple ways to bridge big, scary gaps between people who we feel are “like us” and those who feel “different”. It’s a deeply personal and beautiful conversation and I can’t wait to share it with you!
Three Quick Boosts
Today’s theme is things that bring me a sense of calm.
This Instagram account with the sweetest videos of an Uplifting granny going about her day
This old YouTube channel of Li Ziqi, a Chinese video blogger growing and preparing food using ancient techniques
Earplugs. No link. I just really like to wear earplugs when I’m overstimulated and need to focus and write these emails. (Anyone else?)
Who would you like to hear from on The Uplifters Podcast?
Maybe she’s a woman you know that you believe would inspire others. Or perhaps she’s someone you admire from afar. Maybe it’s a specific challenge or skill you want to learn more about. Whatever or whoever it is, let me know by replying to this message, commenting below, or leaving me a voicemail. This show belongs to all of us, so let’s work together to make it something truly valuable to all of us.
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Let’s keep rising higher, together, 💓
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