Burnout 101: The signs, causes, and impact

Inner Fire series: Week 1

In preparation for this 10-week deep dive into ways that we can keep our inner fires burning hot without flaming out, I've had to think back on some of the toughest times of my own life. The early parenting years were maybe the roughest of all and even now 15 years later it’s dificult to look back on my choices and their impact.

My career was on fire, and I'd worked hard to prove to myself and my colleagues that I was the girl you could count on to show up every day in every way, to find solutions to the hairiest problems, to be the first one in, the last one to leave, and to be kind and cheerful no matter what. I liked being liked. I liked being valued. And I could do it! I mean, I was a little tired, but I learned how to manage (because we Uplifters are exceptionally resourceful).

Then, I had a baby, and I heard the good thing to do was to nurse her for every meal of every day for a full year. I could figure out this problem, too. I could work full-time and never supplement my breastmilk with formula. So, every weekday for the first year of my daughter's life, I would strap her to my chest, and ferry her on the subway to a daycare a mile away from my office. I would feed her one last time before drop off, while thrumming my fingers, anxious to get to work on time. I’d hustle for an hour or two shuttling between conference rooms, then work while squeezed into a cramp pumping room, while trying to mask the mechanical thump thump thump of the pump and sound like a boss lady on a conference call. Then, at noon, I would slip on my running shoes, speed walk a mile to her daycare, provide the obligatory midday feeding, and speed walk the mile back while shoving a granola bar in my mouth (if I was lucky enough to remember to bring one in my haze). At night, I’d work into the wee hours with a baby attached to my chest and wake up early each morning to begin the cycle again. Yay me. I was being a good mom and a good employee. I could live without food or sleep for a few years, powered by commitment, right? It was all worth it if I gave her the most natural nutrition available.

But, looking back I wonder if I was actually pumping my daughter full of stress hormones delivered straight from my breast. My baby was hungry because my production was low because I wasn't taking any time to feed myself or take care of my own body to actually produce the nutrients we both needed. All of the beautiful bonding I was promised as a benefit of nursing never happened because I was so resentful of my obligation and felt like life was being drained out of me one precious drop at a time because it was the "good thing to do."

Looking back, it’s easy to see that I was burned out, that I needed to do less and ease up my on expectations, but in the moment, I was so overwhelmed and exhausted that I only had enough energy to double down on the very things that were draining me.

Something happened to me then (and TBH many other moments in my life) that I see happen to many Uplifters. We get so focused on our commitments, our accountabilities, and our "being good" and “doing good” that we end up working against what truly matters most to us.

I burned myself out trying to be everything to everyone all at once. So, today, my friends, let’s talk about burnout and its source: chronic stress.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but chronic stress impacts every aspect of our lives and wellbeing. Some of these symptoms are subtle, but others are noisy as all get out. Even still, we Uplifters tend to be master tolerators, so we devise clever ways to manage around them until somewhere along the way, we find ourselves completely fried.

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What’s your current burnout risk?

Here's a quiz to help evaluate how close you are to burnout. Answer each of the questions with the following scale:

A. Never | B. Rarely | C. Sometimes | D. Often | E. Always

1. How often do you feel utterly drained and depleted, both at work and at home?

2. How often do you find it hard to get excited or motivated about your job or personal life?

3. Do you struggle to feel energized and enthusiastic when starting your day?

4. How frequently do you feel so fatigued by all your responsibilities that you have little energy left over?

5. How often do you feel irritated and resentful about the demands placed on you?

6. How often are you frustrated and impatient with things at work or home?

7. Do you frequently feel like you're being pulled in too many directions at once?

8. How often do you just feel emotionally and physically exhausted?

9. Do the expectations of work and personal life frequently leave you without enough energy for yourself?

10. How frequently do you feel stuck, unmotivated and dissatisfied with your current situation?

Scoring:

Never = 1 point | Rarely = 2 points | Sometimes = 3 points | Often = 4 points | Always = 5 points

Total Score:

10-20 points: Low burnout risk

21-30 points: Moderate burnout risk

31-40 points: High burnout risk

41-50 points: Burnout crisis

The higher your score, the higher your risk of burnout from the combined demands of your work and personal life.

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The good news? We have more power than we think to reset and refocus. Small, intentional changes can have a big impact.

This week, I’ll share some of these on Instagram and Facebook, so please follow me if you don’t already, and for the next 9 weeks, we’ll cover some of the big and small ways that we can keep our inner fires burning hot - or reignite them if they’re just a pile of ashes.

Here's what you can expect from the next 9 weeks of this 10 week Reignite Your Inner Fire series:

• Aligning Your Why: Purpose and priorities in harmony  

• Energy Management: Optimal self-care, rest, and balance

• SlayCrastination: Building routines to stay focused  (Sorry for the name, but I have a 13-year-old)

• Time Mastery: Planning, prioritizing, ninja productivity 

• Boundary Boss: Protecting your time from energy vampires

• Stress Detox: Mindfulness, relaxation, and coping skills

• Boundary Buddies: Cultivating encouragement and accountability  

• Doing it is crushing it: Recognizing progress + self-compassion

• Resilience Rising: Long-term fire-tending strategies

Follow me on Insta or Facebook, so you don’t miss a beat, and share your thoughts in the comments about what you’d do if you had more energy and time!

Your Next Uplifter

Our next episode is headed your way this Thursday. I can’t wait to introduce you to Cleyvis Natera (follow her @cleyvisnatera on all social platforms), author of the incredible book Neruda on the Park. This book knocked my socks off. I mean, it’s a whole novel about Uplifters!! Cleyvis was the guest for our podcast interview at Uplifters Live and the conversation was so inspiring that we agreed as a community to channel her confidence by declaring our intention to “Cleyvis” whenever we need to own our brilliance.

Uplift Your Life!

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Paid Subscriber Bonuses You’ll Find in Today’s Newsletter

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✨ As always, all of my writing is free and you can listen to every episode of the podcast for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Substack, or wherever you get your podcasts. For those of you who are more visual or want to take a deeper dive with our guests and who want to support this work with a paid subscription, you’ll find the extended-cut video of my conversation with Jennifer Maanavi below.

✨ Our June Subscriber Workshop will feature

Rachel Lipson

founder of Brooklyn Family Travelers! She’ll teach us how to travel almost for free using points and miles strategically! Details and link below.

✨ Our July Subscriber Workshop will feature some of the amazing authors from Uplifters Live who will share their journeys to birthing a book baby to help us bring our own little bundles to the world! Details and link below.

Hugs and high-fives,

Aransas