Let's Be Our Own Fairy Godmothers

Are you in NYC?

If you've ever been to Park Slope in Brooklyn, chances are you've noticed the awesome Superhero Supply Store on 5th Avenue. Did you know that it's actually a front for a super rad nonprofit called 826NYC, which serves thousands of New York students every year by giving them the skills, experience, and educational support to write their own stories?

If you’re in the area on Wednesday, August 13, join us for an 826 x Uplifters Service Mixer. It’s a no-cost, three-hour, come-as-you-are opportunity to lend a hand to a great cause, connect with other Uplifters, peek at the hidden classroom behind Superhero Supply, and eat pizza. We have limited space, so RSVP HERE if you're interested in joining us.

Late Bloomers! 🌸

I'm on the hunt for women whose stories will make us think, "If she can do it, so can I!" Whether it's a complete life pivot, a long-delayed passion project, or finding courage they (or you) didn't know they had—I want to hear about it. Hit reply or fill out this form to nominate someone for our Late Bloomers series.

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My all-time favorite photo of my girls

For many years, I lived on Manhattan's Upper West Side in a fifth-floor walk-up. Every grocery run was an expedition that ended with me hauling bags up five flights of stairs, including whatever tantalizing but ridiculously heavy melon had caught my eye at the market that week. The plastic handles would cut into my fingers as I climbed, and I'd have to stop on each landing to catch my breath and let the blood flow back into my hands.

I had this recurring fantasy playing in my head during those days. A kind neighbor would swoop in like a fairy godneighbor, see me struggling, and offer to help carry my bags the rest of the way up. We'd chat easily as we climbed together, maybe discover we both loved the same salad at Fred’s or had strong opinions about the building's broken mailbox situation. Then, days later, I'd spot them wrestling with their own heavy load and offer to lend a hand.

But that never happened, of course. And honestly? If a random person had suddenly reached for my grocery bags, the stranger-danger alarms in my head would have blared loud enough to wake the whole building, followed by my untrue, but well trained, "Oh no, I'm totally fine!" response.

So instead, I slogged along week after week, sweaty, frustrated, and alone.

I no longer carry my own groceries. Thank you, Stop & Shop delivery! But I still find myself having plenty of "oh I wish somebody would read my mind and help me carry this load" fantasies in other areas of life. Like when I'm juggling seventeen different client needs while trying to coordinate kid stuff and get excited about the vacation I’m planning that really just feels like more work, while secretly hoping someone will notice I'm drowning and offer to take something off my plate. And just like in my fantasy, when someone offers to help my automatic response is usually, “No, thanks, I’m fine” especially when I’m the most not-fine.

I'm not alone in this magical thinking! So many of my clients carry invisible loads, the mental burden of remembering everyone's schedules, the emotional labor of managing family dynamics, the creative pressure of always being "on" for their businesses, all while wishing someone would just notice and help.

So for the past few weeks, my clients and I have been working on getting really good at becoming our own fairy godmothers by asking ourselves what we need, what we really need, and then bravely asking others to lend a hand or giving ourselves permission to do less or simply to say, “yes, thanks a million” when someone offers support.

One client realized she needed someone else to handle client onboarding so she could focus on the creative work that lights her up. Another discovered she needed to stop trying to be the family cruise director and started asking her teenagers to plan their own weekend activities.

And it's not always about delegating the big stuff. Sometimes our needs are simple: a genuine hug that lasts longer than three seconds, twenty minutes of uninterrupted morning coffee before anyone asks us where their swimsuit is, or permission to take ten minutes of complete silence in the car before walking into the house each evening.

Most of the time, we know exactly what would help us, but we wait for someone else to wave a magic wand and make it happen. We stand there with our heavy loads, silently hoping for rescue.

Being our own fairy godmother isn't about having all the answers or doing everything ourselves. It's about getting curious about our actual needs (not just the ones we think we should have) and then experimenting with creative ways to meet them.

Sometimes that means asking for help in ways that feel vulnerable. Sometimes it means saying no to things that drain our energy, even when they seem important. And sometimes it means recognizing that the load we're carrying isn't actually ours to carry alone.

Sound familiar? This week’s journaling prompts will help you identify your silent baggage and run an experiment to practice lightening the load.

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