If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it too late for me to...” the answer’s NO and The Uplifters will prove it to you. This space is for purpose-driven women who want to do big, brave things in the second half of their lives.
We’ve been talking a lot about fulfillment on the podcast lately. Risa Crandall, Dr. Helen Krug von Nidda, and Sue Moser each shared how they rebuilt their careers around what actually matters to them.
Then Faye McCray shared her journey from full-time attorney to a portfolio career that lets her bring more of herself to every room.
Later this week, we’ll keep the thread going with Heike Yates, a midlife fitness expert, author, and creator of the SPARK Framework, who helps midlife women stop dimming their light and rebuild strength, energy, and confidence without guilt, extremes, or starting over.
A recent study in the Journal of Career Development found that the midlife women they interviewed described their earlier careers as ones they “fell into”, stayed in for financial security and social recognition, while their deeper values went unmet, until some triggering event finally forced a shift.
The traditional metrics society celebrates, like salary increases, prestigious titles, and external recognition, often start feeling hollow around midlife. If we’re going to stop measuring life by other people’s metrics, we need our own.
When I start working with clients, one of the first questions I ask them is, “How do you know you’ve had a good week?” The answers are rarely quantifiable. They’re things like calm, peace, balance, physical energy. Felt things. Knowing your definition of what good feels like, and paying attention to how it shifts in different situations, is one of the most clarifying practices I know. (Spoiler: when one measure goes up, another often comes down. They’re all connected.)
My measures of success right now look like this:
Doing at least one thing that really scares me every week. Usually asking for what I actually want, sharing my true feelings, or reaching out to someone I’m pretty sure won’t respond the way I’m hoping. I know it’s working when I feel a little jolt of fear before, and a twinge of bravery after.
Taking care of my body in ways that make me feel strong and sturdy. Not skinny or small or empty. I know this is working when I feel ease.
Having relationships with people who cheer me on and challenge me to be better. I know this is working when I feel supported.
Doing work I love. I know this is working when I feel proud.
Appreciating what I have and tending it with care. I know this is working when I feel rich.
I chose words that are evocative on purpose. The best felt metrics trigger a physical response: a smile, shoulders dropping, an exhale.
To build your own success measures:
Ask yourself how you feel when things are going well. Aim for 3 to 5 things you can actually feel. Choose words that shift something in you when you think of them.
Decide how you’ll measure them. I use a ten-point scale: 10 is the highest, 1 is the lowest.
Check in daily or weekly, ideally at the same time. I do mine every morning when I journal. Reflecting on them consistently has taught me more about what works for me than anything else I’ve tried. It makes it crystal clear what is and isn’t working.
Notice the patterns. What behaviors, interactions, and thoughts move your numbers up or down? How do the metrics relate to each other? Change them as you go.
I’d love to know: what does a good week feel like for you? Comment and tell me.
Let’s go do big, brave things!
Aransas
I love what you said here and it always seems to be about weighing and measuring isn’t it? I know things are going right when I am stretching, living through awkward and moving through to a better place
Started your book today and it is sooooo good!!