Friday Cocoon Starting Now
Join us at the link below and some sexy inspo for the asking
Earlier this week, I interviewed Sarah Nelson from Sexual Empowerment in Midlife. Sarah is a sex and relationship coach who interviews midlife women about reclaiming their desires. We definitely talked about midlife sex, but really, we talked about embracing our whole selves and asking for what we need.
Sarah told me that for most of her life, she was so good at reading what other people wanted and providing it that she lost track of where she ended and other people began. She edited herself down to the version that would cause the least friction.
What changed everything wasn’t learning to understand others better. It was learning to be honest with herself. “We think that great relationships come from understanding the other person,” she told me. “They actually come from being honest with ourselves.”
When I ask Uplifters about lifting and being lifted, it’s easier for most of us to support others than ask for what we actually need. We are excellent at support. We are out of practice at receiving it.
Which makes sense. Research shows that girls’ confidence drops by 30% between the ages of eight and twelve, and a big part of what we learn in that window is that being good means making other people comfortable. Asking for what we need, taking up space with our actual desires, starts to feel risky. Selfish, even.
But the hiding doesn’t protect us. It just makes us harder to really know. And being really known, in all our complexity and contradiction and need, is where the closeness actually lives.
This week in Cocoon, we’re going to practice. We’ll each name one thing we actually need right now, whether that’s accountability, a sounding board, a cheerleader, or just someone to sit with us in the uncertainty. We’ll treat asking like the muscle it is, one that gets stronger every time we use it.
Join today’s Cocoon for co-working
When: Every Friday from 10-12 ET, on Zoom to deep work or close the loops for the week. Whether that’s self-care, organization, or your boldest creative projects. Here’s our flow:
10:00 - Set intentions together
10:15 - Three deep breaths, then dive into deep work
11:00 - One-song dance party to shake things loose
11:03 - Second deep work session
11:59 - Close and celebrate showing up for what matters
