Doing it is Crushing it: High Fives for Baby Steps and Self-Love Shenanigans 🎉

Inner Fire Series Week 9

My firstborn will be 16 this week. Whaaa!?! She told me that she’s decided to only be friends with people who love her for who she is, not despite who she is. I want that for all of us.

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How's that journey to becoming a "no" ninja going? Nailing it? Stumbling a bit? Accidentally said yes to adopting a llama farm?

Even if your answer to that last question was “yes,” here’s what I want you to know today: You're doing amazing, sweetie darling (where are my Ab Fab fans out there?)!

Today, we're diving into the art of recognizing progress and showing yourself some good old-fashioned self-compassion. It's like being your own cheerleader but without the pom-poms (unless that's your thing, then pom away, my friend!).

Progress Isn't Perfect (Thank Goodness!)

The reminder I have to give myself daily: Progress doesn't mean nailing it 100% of the time. It's more like learning to roller skate – you're gonna wobble, you might fall, but you're moving forward if you’re learning!

Let's celebrate some of the baby steps we might take while we learn to skate:

1. The Awkward "No": It came out more like "Nyes?" but you tried!

2. The Boundary Attempt: You set a boundary... then immediately apologized. Still counts!

3. The Almost-Victory: You almost said no, then caved. Guess what? You're building that "no" muscle!

4. The Mental Win: You thought about setting a boundary. That's progress!

5. The Do-Over: You said yes, then circled back with a no. Reversals totally count!

Self-Compassion: Contrary to popular belief, being mean to ourselves does NOT work

Time to treat yourself like you'd treat your best friend – you know, the one who's always burning dinner and forgetting to buy toilet paper. You still love them, right?

Try this: The Self-Compassion Sandwich

1. Start with a layer of kindness: "I'm doing my best."

2. Add a slice of common humanity: "Everyone struggles with this sometimes."

3. Top it off with mindfulness: "This moment is tough, but it will pass."

Voila! A delicious self-compassion sandwich to munch on when you're feeling down.

Now, let's put it all together with The "Crushing It" Challenge:

1. For one week, jot down one boundary-related win each day. No win is too small!

2. At the end of each day, give yourself a ridiculous congratulations. Example: "You're a boundary-setting unicorn, Jaclyn!"

3. If things don’t go to plan, practice your self-compassion sandwich.

4. At week's end, throw yourself a mini-celebration. Dance party in your PJs? Yes, please! Here’s the perfect song for it.

5. Share your biggest win with a friend or your Boundary Buddy and normalize self-love!

This is not the Boundary Olympics. You're not aiming for perfection here. You're aiming for progress, with a side of self-kindness and maybe a sprinkle of humor. Some days, you'll feel like a boundary boss, and others, you'll feel more like a boundary intern. And that's great!

If what you need is a weekend of deep rest and dreaming with your boundary bestie, join me at our first Uplifters retreat. It’s gonna be 3 days of deeeeeep relaxation blended with invigorating dream-building + a personal chef who will tailor the menu to the season and your dietary needs, and did I mention that freaking Tarte Cosmetics is sponsoring our swag bag?!? What the heck?!?.

Luxury accommodations, healthy gourmet meals, wine, and all activities are included in the pricing. You can read more about it here.

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This is part nine of a 10-part series on Burnout.

In part one, assess your current burnout risk and learn the costs and symptoms of burnout. In part two, learn a clarifying technique for deciding what to say yes and no to. In part three, learn an easy trick for boosting your energy. In part four, I share an experiment you can run to understand what’s getting in the way of your progress. In part five, identify and adjust your time mindset. In part six, fend off energy vampires. In part seven, do a stress detox. In part eight, pick your Boundary Buddies. Stay tuned for the final newsletter of our series, where we will cover long-term fire-tending strategies

Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for lots more stories of courageous Uplifters and simple strategies for keeping your inner fire burning hot.

Your Next Uplifter

Our next episode of The Uplifters Podcast is headed your way on Thursday. You’ll meet Daisy Auger-Dominguez, a global thought leader on the leading edge of work. With years of experience leading human capital practices at some of the world’s most admired companies, including Google and Disney, she helps leaders and their teams get the hard things done with clarity and intention. Daisy serves as a calming and invigorating voice, courageously prioritizing people and culture as a winning strategy.

Daisy writes, speaks and advises on the evolution of work, bridging the gap between how organizations should work and how they actually work. She also advises startup and venture technology companies that are building a better future of work, helping founders create impactful and lasting solutions. Her books, Inclusion Revolution and the forthcoming Burnt Out to Lit Up offer actionable strategies for dismantling workplace inequity and revitalizing leadership practices.

Daisy's insights have been featured at TEDx and in publications, including the Harvard Business Review and Forbes. Her contributions have earned her accolades, such as being named one of Hispanic Executive's Top 10 Leaders and one of People en Español's 25 Most Powerful Women. Daisy actively shapes the future from her board of trustees position at Bucknell University. Daisy was nominated by Susie Jaramillo from episode 2 of our podcast.

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Paid Subscriber Bonuses You’ll Find in Today’s Newsletter

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✨ August Subscriber Workshop: I’m going to try something a bit different for our workshop by inviting you to join me for an activity I call Precision Manifesting. It’s a precise (go figure) and actionable approach to boldly declaring ideas and planning them into reality and I use it alllll the time. I can’t wait to share it with all of you! Details below. Can’t wait to see you this Friday!

Hugs and high-fives,

Aransas