Boundary Buddies: Your Personal Cheerleaders in the "No" Olympics 🏅

Inner Fire Series Week 8

Sweaty selfie from a VFTR with Kara wayyyyy back in 2017- so many hairstyles, miles, and milestones ago.

Hey Uplifters!

Before we get into week 8 of our Inner Fire series, may I ask for your help with something, right quick?

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OK, back to our regularly scheduled programming. How's your "no" game going, friends? Crushing it? Still a work in progress? Accidentally said yes to organizing your neighbor's cat's birthday party?

We've talked about zapping energy vampires and detoxing from stress. Now it's time to call in the cavalry – your Boundary Buddies! Because sometimes, we all need a friend to high-five our "no's" and call us out on our "maybe's" (which we all know are just "yes's" in disguise).

A Boundary Buddy is your partner in crime (or rather, a partner in not committing the crime against yourself of overcommitting). It's like having a personal trainer but for your boundaries! This is so important that I’ve built not one but two supercharged Boundary Buddy sessions into my weekly routine. I start each week with a group of Uplifters on a good old-fashioned conference call (seems sort of romantic, doesn’t it, after all the endless Zooming?) that I refer to as Maximum Meaning Mondays because it forces me to get clear on my priorities and protect them from the inevitable slippage that comes with supporting everyone else’s needs. Then, I end my week with that famous VFTR you’ve heard so much in past issues of this newsletter and episode 68 of the podcast. Could your life benefit from some Boundary Buddies? Join us on Mondays over at LiveUpDaily, or use these guidelines to cultivate your own crew.

Here's what makes a great Boundary Buddy:

1. The Cheerleader: Celebrates your wins, no matter how small. "You said no to that 2 AM work email? You're basically a superhero!"

2. The Reality Check: Gently reminds you of your goals when you're wavering. "Remember how you felt after the last three baby showers you organized?"

3. The Accountability Ace: Checks in on your progress. "Hey, did you have that boundary conversation with your mom yet?"

4. The Safe Space: Offers judgment-free listening when you need to vent.

5. The Role Model: Walks the talk with their own boundaries.

Finding Your Boundary Buddy:

Not sure who to recruit? Look for these qualities:

1. Someone who respects their own boundaries (no energy vampires allowed!)

2. A good listener who won't just tell you what you want to hear

3. Someone you trust and feel comfortable being vulnerable with

4. A person with a similar schedule or lifestyle to yours

5. Someone who's up for a little playful, tough love when needed

Buddy System in Action:

Here's a fun experiment to kick off your Boundary Buddy journey:

1. Find a willing Boundary Buddy (or two – the more, the merrier!)

2. Set a specific boundary goal for the week (e.g., "I will say no to any non-urgent work requests after 6 PM")

3. Check in with your buddy daily – share wins, struggles, and maybe a few boundary-setting memes

4. At the end of the week, have a celebratory call or meetup.

5. Reflect on what worked, what didn't, and set a new goal for the next week

6. Remember, your Boundary Buddy is there to support you, not to be your boundary bouncer. The decisions are still yours to make – they're just there to remind you of your awesomeness and hold up a mirror when needed.

Your boundaries (and your sanity) will thank you. And remember, in the words of the great philosopher Spice Girls, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends" – or, in this case, respect my boundaries!

If what you need is a weekend of deep rest and dreaming with your boundary bestie, join me at our first Uplifters retreat. It’s gonna be 3 days of deeeeeep relaxation blended with invigorating dream-building.

Luxury accommodations, healthy gourmet meals, wine, and all activities are included in the pricing. You can read more about it here.

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This is part eight of a 10-part series on Burnout.

In part one, assess your current burnout risk and learn the costs and symptoms of burnout. In part two, learn a clarifying technique for deciding what to say yes and no to. In part three, learn an easy trick for boosting your energy. In part four, I share an experiment you can run to understand what’s getting in the way of your progress. In part five, identify and adjust your time mindset. In part six, fend off energy vampires. In part seven, do a stress detox. Stay tuned for the rest of our series, where we will cover:

• Doing it is Crushing it: Recognizing progress + self-compassion

• Hotter Every Day: Long-term fire-tending strategies

Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for lots more stories of courageous Uplifters and simple strategies for keeping your inner fire burning hot.

Your Next Uplifter

Our next episode of The Uplifters Podcast is headed your way on Thursday. You’ll meet Lauren Roerick. (Instagram: @laurenroerick YouTube: @laurenroerick). Lauren is a long-distance backpacker and traveler. She was the first North American woman to hike the 3000kms Hexatrek across France. She recently returned from New Zealand where she hiked 1600kms across the country. Lauren was nominated by Jillian Greenwood.

Uplift Your Life!

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Paid Subscriber Bonuses You’ll Find in Today’s Newsletter

✨ Huge gratitude to all of our paid subscribers and an extra thank you to our newest paid subscriber, Marilyn St. John! Your support makes all the difference.

✨ As always, all of my writing is free and you can listen to every episode of the podcast for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Substack, or wherever you get your podcasts. For those of you who are more visual or want to take a deeper dive with our guests and who want to support this work with a paid subscription, you’ll find the extended-cut video of my conversation with

Eliza Factor

below.

✨ August Subscriber Workshop: I’m going to try something a bit different for our workshop by inviting you to join me for an activity I call Precision Manifesting. It’s a precise (go figure) and actionable approach to boldly declaring ideas and planning them into reality and I use it alllll the time. I can’t wait to share it with all of you! Details below.

Hugs and high-fives,

Aransas