Ambiguity is exhausting

Sometimes it feels like the bathroom walls know exactly what I need to hear.

Hey Uplifters!

Remember when we were kids and played that infuriating game of "I'm not touching you!" with our siblings? Well, turns out adulting isn't much different sometimes. We've just gotten sneakier about it.

This week, let's admit to something we're probably all guilty of: the exhausting dance of ambiguity. You know, those times when we water down our desires, soft-pedal our needs and hope against hope that someone will magically read our minds and come to our rescue.

Spoiler alert: They won't.

There's a saying that's been bouncing around in my head lately (ever since I saw it in a bathroom stall midrun):

"Say what you mean, mean what you say."

Simple, right? Yet oh-so-hard to put into practice.

We've all been there. Telling our partner, "It's fine" when it's clearly not. Agreeing to plans we secretly dread. Hinting at what we want instead of just asking for it outright. It's like we're all playing a giant game of charades, except nobody told us the rules and the prize is... more confusion? Whipee!

But here's the thing: ambiguity is exhausting. It's draining for us, it's frustrating for others, and it rarely gets us what we actually want. So why do we do it?

Maybe we're afraid of rejection. Maybe we don't want to seem "needy" or "difficult." Or maybe, just maybe, we're holding onto the childish hope that if someone really loves us, they'll just know what we need without us having to say it.

(Spoiler alert #2: They won't. Not even your mom. Not even your dog. Though your dog might come closer than most humans.)

So, what's the alternative? Brace yourselves because it's radical: Actually saying what we mean.

I know, I know. It sounds terrifying. But hear me out. What if, instead of dropping hints and hoping for the best, we simply... asked for what we want? What if we stopped sugarcoating our feelings and started expressing them honestly?

It might feel uncomfortable at first. It might even feel a little selfish. But here's the beautiful thing: clear communication isn't selfish. It's a gift. It's a gift to ourselves, because we're more likely to get our needs met. And it's a gift to others, because we're not asking them to be mind readers anymore.

So, this week, I challenge you (and myself) to experiment with clarity. Let's practice saying what we really want, even if it feels a little scary.

This isn't about demanding or being pushy. It's about being clear and honest. It's about giving others the chance to really see you and understand your needs.

Will it be uncomfortable sometimes? Yep. Will it get easier with practice? Also yep.

Until next week, you wildly courageous Uplifters. May your communication be clear, your needs be met, and your mind-reading expectations be low.

Let’s keep rising higher together ✨,

Aransas

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Your Next Uplifter

Our next episode of The Uplifters Podcast is headed your way on Thursday. You’ll meet Lakeshia Hodge, Founder & Executive Director of The Struggle of Love Foundation. Her story is extraordinary and overflowing with hope and inspiration. I can’t wait to share it with you, so here’s a little clip in the meantime.

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