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Hope isn't enough 🤷🏻♀️
Happy Fearless Friday, Friends!
Last weekend, my daughters and I did a sweep of the massive Barbie doll collection they have accumulated over the years. The broken dolls got recycled, the character dolls got donated, and the rest got dressed and put back into the Barbie house. My Barbie loving-est daughter said to me, “I can’t stop thinking about wanting to get rid of the rest of my Barbies”. She’s growing up, so I thought the sentence would end there. But, it didn’t. After a long sigh she continued, “I want to get rid of them and replace them with the exact same Barbies again, but this time I want to take better care of them.“ I was so moved by her wish. It’s a feeling I know well. That feeling of wanting to do things better or differently the next time around. Every time I organize my closet I think, ”This time I’m going to stay on top of this. This time it won’t get away from me. This time I will tidy up as I go. “ But “this time” ends up just like last time. I could buy my girl new Barbies, but there’s a great chance that they would end up broken and naked and scattered around the room again. Why? Because we are creatures of habit and the way we’ve done things once is pretty likely to be the way we will do them again.
It doesn’t have to be that way though. We always have the chance to change. We always have the chance to practice a new way of being. Saying we want things to be different is an amazing start, but it's not an ending.
To do (or be) different we have to
🌟 Get clear about what is getting in our way.
🌟 Make an actual plan to do things differently to address whatever is getting in the way.
🌟Create ways to keep ourselves actively anchored in the new way, so we don’t ease back into our old comfy way.
Aren’t those cute little bullets? They make it seem so simple. Sorry to be a buzzkill, but finding these answers is usually not simple, especially for the stuff we’ve done the same way over and over in our lives. Most of us need support to take an honest look at what isn’t working, make plans that activate us to do things differently, and stay focused on making the changes last in our messy, ever-changing lives. Whether it’s hiring an expert like a coach or closet organizer, buddying up with friends to make and keep plans, or signing up for a program, we make it so much easier on ourselves when we enlist a little help.
So, if you notice yourself hoping that next job, that next relationship, that next fitness kick, or whatever, is going to turn out differently just because it’s fresh out of the box and shiny, remember: 🌟YOU🌟 own the power to actually make it different. You also own the power to let it be the same as that dingy, old one. Own your choice and make a plan for difference. And if you need help with that, just reach out to me.
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Here’s to choosing our way forward, together.