How to apply TJ Maxx logic to your dreams
Hi friends!
Moving on is always tricky, but leaving something (or someone) that’s been good to us, is a gnarly maze. It’s so easy to get turned around, and find ourselves back in our comfort zones. Without even noticing it, we slip back into the old behaviors, relationships, and mindsets that were part of our “before” times.
Why? Well, often because when we’re on a friendly, familiar path we get to taste some enticing blend of feeling capable, comfortable, rewarded, recognized, and appreciated. And that can be really, really hard to let go of, even when we know we want and need to step out, and especially when there’s a good chance we won’t get all of that sweet validation right away on our new ventures. Heck, it might even be entirely the opposite.
I got to host a powerful conversation last night with two of my favorite humans, Kara Cutruzzula and Joanne Jennett, about how they navigate big identity, career and life shifts.
Here are a few tips we came up with for betting on new dreams when old dreams try to suck us back in.
Apply TJ Maxx logic. It’s awfully tempting to buy a cute dress just because it used to be $85 and now it’s only $7, but I try to ask myself if I’d want it if it were $185. If the answer is “no” I really don’t need it, and will probably regret spending the $7. The same is true with old identities. When little asks (the quick task or favor) get made, ask yourself if you’d want to do that thing lots more times. If the answer is no, it’s probably not worth it, because there’s a great chance that one little ask will start a cascade of little asks that pull you off course.
Say yes AND no. When you’re trying to decide between a “yes” or a “no”, try saying both to yourself and see which one feels good and which one feels scary. Now, you might think I’m about to say, “go with the one that feels good”. But, I’m not. If you don’t feel a little scared, there’s a great chance you’re back dancing to the same old song.
Make a better pros and cons list. We’ve all done them, but this time put your new dream at the top of that list. Keep looking at it. Your old dream had different priorities. Answer this question with your new dream front and center.
I love spending my time with people who inspire me. They make me so much smarter, and help me stay on track. If you’re a people person too, try any of these techniques with trusted, inspiring friends. By trusted, I mean those friends who will call BS on backsliding, while also showing grace and compassion when it inevitably happens. If you don’t have those people in your life, or want some more, come on over to LiveUp, because that’s where we are.
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Here’s to betting on our dreams, together.
Aransas
